Coercive Control
The problem
recognise – understand – act
We are committed to making coercive control visible – whether in close relationships, spiritual or high demand groups.
Coercive Control means people are systematically restricted in their autonomy, thinking, self-worth and actions. This often happens through invisible rules, emotional blackmail or constant conformity to rigid expectations.
These dynamics do not only occur in partnerships, but also in families, groups or digital spaces.
Wherever control dominates life – we are here to listen, inform and bring people together.
Our goal: Raising Awarness, Saftey and Support towards personal agency.
Coercive control in relationships
Official definition: “A series of acts intended to make a person submissive and/or dependent by isolating them from the social environment, exploiting their resources and abilities for personal gain, depriving them of the means of independence, resistance and escape, and regulating their everyday behavior.” (NCVO, blog.cps.gov.uk)
Sometimes you’re in a relationship, a family, or a group – and only later you realize that something isn’t right. Psychological violence and coercive control are often hard to recognize, especially when everything at first seems like love, solidarity, or a meaningful shared cause. These dynamics don’t only appear in partnerships, but also in sects, cults, conspiracy groups, and radicalized online spaces.
In coercive control, a single person – or a small group of leaders – moves to the center. They set the rules, decide what counts as 'truth', and dictate which beliefs are acceptable. Psychological violence and gaslighting ensure that everyone else begins to doubt themselves, stay silent, and comply. Criticism is suppressed; disagreement is treated as dangerous or wrong.
It often starts out looking harmless: you're welcomed, flattered, or drawn in with warmth and acceptance. But over time, your own perception begins to shift. Through gaslighting, you eventually stop trusting your own thoughts and feelings. At the same time, emotional – and often financial – dependence deepens, making it harder and harder to break free.
Psychological violence, gaslighting, and coercive control have a profound impact: they damage self-esteem and change the way people think, feel, and act. Personal development is blocked, and it becomes easy to justify, minimize, or even support the perpetrator's dangerous behaviour. The trauma from these experiences can last long after the relationship ends.
Simply 'leaving' isn’t straightforward. Coercive control traps people not just through rules, but also through fear and guilt: “You can’t do it without us” or “If you leave, something bad will happen to you”. Those who experience psychological violence for long periods often lose touch with their own needs and rights.
Understand exactly what psychological violence, gaslighting, and coercive control mean. Recognize and defend your own rights and boundaries again. Seek support – from friends, counselling centres, self-help groups, or contact places like us. Challenge harmful beliefs shaped by the abusive environment and reclaim your independence and self-confidence, step by step.
Coercive control in groups
High-demand groups – cults, closed conspiracy groups, radicalized movements, including online communities – use coercive control to demand especially high emotional, financial, or ideological commitment from members. These environments often operate with an ‘us versus them’ mindset.
Excessive devotion to a person, idea or doctrine
Thought control or re-education processes ('thought reform') to adapt to the mindset, values and rules of the group
Creation of psychological dependency, e.g. through isolation, feelings of guilt or fear of exclusion
Exploitation of members to further the goals of the leader or organization
Psychological harm and trauma that affect members, their families, and the wider community.
Contrary to common clichés, members of Cluts or High Demand Groups like consiparcy movements are often:
– People from the middle class, often with a good education
– Idealistic, committed personalities looking for meaning, belonging or change
– People with social skills, adaptability and organizational skills – qualities that are particularly sought after in such groups
– People with financial stability or family resources, which makes them particularly attractive to groups
It is easier to view participation in such groups as a personal failure than to acknowledge the targeted psychological manipulation involved.
New members are rarely 'recruited' directly – instead, contact is usually made via friends or family.
Flattery, emotional affection ('love bombing') and peer pressure are typical.
Many groups initially present themselves unassumingly – for example as a coaching program a local church or social initiative.
What looks like a free decision to the outside world is by no means free – the options for action are severely restricted by ideology, pressure and isolation. It's not about weakness – it's much more about being in the wrong place at the wrong time with the right amount of confidence and idealism.